You’re all set to host the yearly Friendsgiving with ten of your closest friends. This year you decided to only make the turkey and everyone was assigned a dish to prepare. Dinner is at 7, show up at 5. At 6:30 everyone arrives and surprise! They only brought the ingredients. So now they all need to use your kitchen to make everything. Which is the WRONG THING TO DO!
Louder This Time
You think back to a day long ago in middle school. You’re sitting next to your best friend Benny. Someone trips on their way to the pencil sharpener. You make a joke to Benny. He laughs. Benny then says the joke out loud. The entire class laughs. You never felt such betrayal. That’s the moment you decided to ruin Benny’s joy at every turn.
It’s that time of the year again. You dread the oncoming bombardment of holiday cheer mere moments after the spooky month. The holiday season seems to start earlier and earlier every year. You fear a future where the 4th of July is when they’ll start playing Mariah Carey’s ‘All I Want for Christmas Is You’. There will be a time when Christmas music continues to play well into January, then February, and so on. When this day comes everyone will think it’s normal. Prepare yourself, that is your dystopia.
Every year, they keep coming. Hordes of them. They scream, they foam at the mouth, they thirst for blood. And the knocking, the relentless knocking. You can’t escape them. You refuse to let them in, let them take what they want from you. No, you won’t let that happen. Your candy is all for you, not these damn trick or treaters.
You got a steal on a new apartment! Everyone knows how hard it is to find something affordable in the city. No one has the good luck that you have though. The square footage is amazing, the utilities are included, you even have your own washer and dryer in unit! The only catch is that the doors open and close on their own. And the lights flicker in the middle of the night. And sometimes you hear your name being whispered when no one’s around. Oh yeah and the walls bleed, but only on Tuesdays!